re•cov•er 1: to get back 2 a: to bring back to normal position or condition 6 a: to obtain from an ore, a waste product, or a by-product b: to save from loss and restore to usefulness 1: to regain a normal position or condition (as of health)
re•cov•er•ing being in the process of overcoming a disorder or shortcoming
re•cov•ery 1: the act, process, or an instance of recovering; especially : an economic upturn (as after a depression)2: the process of combating a disorder (as alcoholism) or a real or perceived problem
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*yawn*
it’s been a long… life?
while operating best on the go, with lots of spreading thin, only a few moments of ‘mental health time’ and even less sleep…
for some reason it’s still my mind and emotional state that breakdown first, and often.
i’m a part-time insomniac, so my body gets ‘tired’ too…
but i’m talking the type of exhaustion that follows hard and lengthy physical labor- where your muscles are worked and sore, and even the slightest movement reminds you of it. the type of tiredness when your brain feels clouded and earth and it’s inhabitants seem light-years away.
so, it’s a rare day that my level of body tiredness exceeds that of my emotional state.
or on this particular day, when the body aches seem to have consumed any other type of output (or input), sensory or other, altogether…
which is why it’s odd that-
in the current state of ‘duh’ that i sit in..
without even trying, or having energy to ‘try’..
and not about any one thing, or really anything at all..
..i find myself feeling bewildered.
quite possibly, this is the only emotion left standing at the end of ‘today’..
and though it wasn’t a conscious thought that triggered it-
through glazed eyes, amidst the clouds, and light-years away, i write these words to you:
how crazy that we reside in a state of recovery from living,
as much as we live and are living.
Ah, recovery!
and on that note.. goodnight! 
ruby 080228
