dear friend,

HELLO! how are you? and tell me, how is Earl?

life’s been weird for me. i’m in an odd season, i don’t really understand it. there’s agony and fighting with my reflection over the self-pity coma i seem to slip into so passively as of late, antagonized by this stubborn weed of self-righteousness that keeps choking out the Sunshine.

i can’t really explain it further than this, for i don’t really understand much past it. i’m just trusting God to hold me up minute to minute. though i’ve realized something lately:
i used to think, when necessary, even if kicking and screaming, He would drag us along.
i’m beginning to realize, He doesn’t drag us at all..
He just wants us to follow.
so if i’m kicking and screaming, yet still following Him.. really, i’m just having a big ol’ adult temper tantrum, making a fool of myself and wasting my own energy and time along the way. (there’s a story in the midst of this lesson.. now i just need the time to get it out mah brain and onto paper/computer..)

sigh.

hmmm. don’t get me wrong, life isn’t bad.
is it good? well, who’s definition of ‘good’ do we speak of?

“what meanings defy words..?”

no matter how ‘not good’ i can ‘feel’ at times in this life, no matter how crappy, disgusted or miserable.. i still surpass ‘good’ in every direction and worldly meaning according to God’s dictionary.

and why?
simple: Jesus.

i hope this letter finds you better than good.

peace, prayer
& Sunshine,
ruby

ruby 080212