what do we do, Boo Boo?

“i knew i was going to take the wrong train, so i left early” –yogi berra

sometimes we definitely know we’re about to get on the wrong train.
and sometimes we still board anyway.

but we don’t have to. we can just leave early, just turn around and walk away.
it can really be that simple.
can’t it?
ok, maybe not all the time that simple.
maybe we’re already on the wrong train. what do you do then?

answer? well, whatever you have to do.

it’s never going to be the same answer for different people, different times, different situations..
but if we just give it to God, trust Him, and are obedient to what He is saying,
He will always get us off that train..

and that, my friends- giving it to God- IS that simple.

(like nike says: JUST DO IT. !!)

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confession? from the deepest parts of me, this entry’s existence is intensely personal-
this is me walking away, a part of doing what i have to do, to not get on that wrong train.
(heck, maybe most entries are! )

“..i knew i was going to take the wrong train, and so i left early.”
-yogi berra

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Rom 6:1 WHAT shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?
2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?
3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?
4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection,
6 knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.
7 For he who has died has been freed from sin.
8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,
9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him.
10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.
11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.
13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!
16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?

the prayer box

“Disturb us, O Lord…”

Ten days before I left for basic training, almost five years ago, I had the first sapling of a thought that the Lord that had been pursuing me, might be the Lord God of a Bible I knew nothing about.

I was living with my grandma at the time. I had rented a room with her for about two years; it was affordable, allowed me to attend community college part time and work.
Not to mention-my grandma is one cool lady…

Well, my grandma is also set in her ways about some things- like there’s no air-conditioning in her house; she always had the windows open with fans in them, which sent humid ocean air into your dreams at night. Another one of her little things was, she absolutely would not let us have internet or cable installed in her house (I still don’t understand this one, but whatever..)

So. There I was, ten days before departing for big army, saying to myself the same things my friends and family had been asking me: “WHAT are you doing..? You are like hippie peace girl, and you’re joining the army… ?”

I asked myself this question a good dozen times while hustling around my bedroom in a packing frenzy, trying to organize and pack up little pieces of life and junk I had accumulated.

Truth is, I had no idea what I was doing.

______________________________

There was a television in my room- of course, no cable. In fact, only a handful of channels picked up reception, and that was only if the weather was ok and my coat-hanger antennae just so. Either way, slim pickings for TV shows.

Perhaps because there wasn’t much else to choose from, or some other reason I can’t recall, I found myself tolerating a television show in the background that would normally just annoy me.
The show, was 7th Heaven.

Somewhere in my half paying attention ADD tornado of a mind, something the father/pastor said on the show, halted me. All i could do was stop, and listen.
The words, the line in this show- scared, intrigued, challenged, inspired, and awakened a part of my soul that I didn’t know existed.

The words were these:

“Disturb us, O Lord, to dare more boldly, To venture on wilder seas where storms show Your mastery; where in losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.”

At this point, Christianity and the Bible were such a foreign concept to me, I was not even sure this was not an actual Bible verse!! I just knew I had to remember it. I sat and wrote, in a page of my diary, the quote as I remembered it, and then just stayed there, reading, re-reading.

I sat for a good while longer, just thinking, until I began to write my own prayers to a God I didn’t know. yet somewhere inside, I did know, and whomever this God was, He was responsible for my seemingly out of place decision to join the military.

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There is a little wooden box I have, that I had given to my Vavu (grandfather in Portuguese) when he was alive to put his wedding rings in; he suffered from gout and his fingers would swell up too badly for him to wear them. After he passed, my grandmother thought I might like to have the box back.

I tore the quote, and page of prayer that I had written, yet didn’t understand, and put them into the box. Also housed inside were my great-Vavo’s (great grandmother) engagement ring, my living grandmother’s class ring, a small confetti dove, and a ring that is truly dear to my sister.

Five years later, that little wooden box sits upon my bedroom dresser. Sometimes, I take out the prayer, written many moons ago, read it, and smile- for I know that the God I didn’t know so long ago when those words were born, has known me, loved me and been by my side every breath, step and crawl of the way- then, today, forever.

About a month back, I remembered the awesome power of internet and google, and decided to search for what I remembered of that quote, that I heard five years ago on 7th Heaven.

This is what I found:

Sir Francis Drake’s Prayer

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

Amen.

ruby 071002

i do.

these words recently jumped out at me in a song:

“if we try to leave, may God send His angels to guard the door”

you think that’s what friends are?

..i do.

pinwheels & daydreams

“sigh”

are you my mother?

dear mom,

happy father’s day. and THANK YOU.

i LOVE you!

hooray and appropriate actions..

.. we made it to friday!

banana pudding

why is it sometimes we have to get to this (please refer to visual aid 1a.) point, before we quit resisting, suck up our egos and just surrender?

1a. hey mister, you ran over my banana!

i like to call this ’silly little human syndrome’..
..and yes, i suffer from it.

hope this brings your wednesday a smile!

xo,
ruby